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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/21/2009
Posts: 106
Location: cornwall
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hi all
just going to rant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my nephews wedding next week---was really looking forward to it now i'm on the point of not going
families!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fell out with my mum several years ago--long story but there we go---
i just know she will be spoiling for a 'fight'
i know she will be at the wedding with her 'chestfeathers 'all fluffed up
she slagged my daughter off---part of the reason for the fallout--now my daughter is saying she is worried as well--which is such a shame as she and her cousin are the best of friends and always in touch---i'm getting into such a state!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just to let you know what mum can be like --she gave another of my sisters her birthday card at her grandmothers funeral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mum didn't even attend her own fathers funeral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!why cos he in his 90's finally stood his ground with her!!!!!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH cross cross cross!!!!!!
i have absolutally no intention of spoiling my nephews wedding day but i do find that myself nad my daughter are planning 'escape' routes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i know if i'm not careful i will be ill but i am genuinly worried.
sorry for the rant
caz x
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 4/20/2010 Posts: 1,749 Location: Somerset
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oh deal sorry about your problems
Why not talk it over with your Nephew. How ever it pans out I hope it is for the best
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/5/2009 Posts: 216 Location: Leicester, UK
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Had to but in - I really don't think it would be a good idea to talk it over with your nephew. It is HIS wedding day and nothing should spoil it. He will have enough to think about without worrying about family feuds  It should be his happiest day.
You could make a concerted effort to stay on the opposite side of the room from your mother. There should be be every opportunity to stay well away from her in church/registry office/reception. If you do happen to 'make contact' I always find that being exceptionally nice to someone who is being difficult really throws them. 'Excuse me, I have to go and talk to .....' often works well.
You recognise that you should NOT get upset. And you are already upsetting yourself.
Don't lower yourself to the bad behaviour of other relatives. Escape routes are a good idea - if only for a breather to gain your composure and get strong. You could always say that you may have to leave early because you will be tired 
Whatever you do, I hope it is a lovely day for your Nephew and his wife and that you can manipulate the situation for the best. Above all, you should not stress yourself about it.
Warmest wishes, Ann"I cannot do everything. I accept that. Not being able to do everything is no excuse for doing nothing." ~ Helen Keller
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 854
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I agree with Ann. Try to rise above it and to remain dignified throughout.
Hope that you are able to enjoy the day.
Eleanor x
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 259
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I agree with the two posts above wholeheartedly. My wedding was the only time that my mum and stepmother (a horrible person, now deceased) were ever in the same room together. I worried like mad. I found a seating plan for top table with a step mother and step father. I so wanted it to be 'right'. She stated that she would not sit on the top table if she were not next to my dad, and consequently did not sit at the top table. I then found a seating plan for step father only. When it came to the day, they ignored each other and a couple of spats with my step sister and my family were not in front of me, so I had a wonderful day and forgot about them completely. For their sake, please rise above it. Hope you all have a lovely day, Jan xxxx 
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 2/26/2010
Posts: 271
Location: hampshire
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Hi Carol, agree with the other posts and totally sympathise with you, families!!!!!!!! What a pain they can be!! My mother in law from hell made our wedding a battle ground, but luckily (for her!)it was alovely day. she has continued to be a thorn in our side for all of our married life until several weeks ago when I had had enough and blew!! Not good for RA, a flare followed shortly afterwards, but the up side is I no longer speak to her!!!
I hope that things go well for your newphew and his wife and that you have a lovely day and dont get stressed!
love
Heatherxxxx
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,110 Location: London
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Carol, completely agree with previous posts. Just carry on as normal, and try to avoid contact with your mother. I sympathise with you on this, its so hard when these occassions come up. I hope you can enjoy the day for your nephew's sake too. I hope it turns out to be a wonderful day for everyone x x BARBARA
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 2,127
Location: Thornton Cleveleys
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Hi Carol Families ... who'd have them eh?! Hope it all goes really well and you are able to enjoy the day.  Keep your cool  forget the rest and be yourself  and have fun! Lyn x
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 4/20/2010 Posts: 1,749 Location: Somerset
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Carol Ignore my previous posts. I totally agree with the others. People HATE people being nice to them in awkward circumstances - just rise above it - You can do it. Rose 
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/4/2010
Posts: 576
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Good luck Carol - hope you are pleasantly surprised and it is a lovely day for you all. With any luck, a beaming smile and a "Let's not spoil this for the bride and groom" should be enough to get through the day. Don't let it make you ill worrying about what might happen. Take care and thinking of yoy XX Ailsa
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,582 Location: Oxfordshire
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I agree with everything Ann wisely says.
Have a wonderful time and if you're drinking champagne make sure you stay away from them!!!! LOL
Love,
Amanda
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/21/2009
Posts: 106
Location: cornwall
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hi all
thanks for your support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
as it happens apart from my daughter and myself being very wooreid and tense nothing actually happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the wedding ceremony was moved in doors so made for a little more tension as everyone was in close proximity but now one argued --in fact hubby did speak to one person but was totally BLANKED so we made no further effort and neither did they.
the reception was really good and everyone really enjoyed themselves wich was a massive relief!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the bride and groom had a brilliant day and that is all that matters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
again thankyou for your syupport
caz x
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 1,035
Location: in a house
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well any promlem sit tight go to the loo hide up and go home . or get something out of car and go christine The chocolate eating housewife ...The washer woman .....naughty lady
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 259
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So pleased it all went well and that everyone had a good day.
Jan x
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 4/20/2010 Posts: 1,749 Location: Somerset
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Carol So pleased all went well and no hic-cup. Glad you enjoyed Rose
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 2,127
Location: Thornton Cleveleys
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Hi Carol Pleased all went well and the day was enjoyed by everyone Lyn x.
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 856
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Hi Carol
Glad it all went well
Maria x
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